• 03
  • May
    2011

Every responsible parent worries about the possible effects a divorce may have on their children. Multiple studies examining the effects of divorce on children have found that the process increases children's' risk of mental health problems, difficulties in school and trouble interacting socially with peers. However, divorcing parents should not conclude that their divorce will necessarily have a substantial and lasting effect on their children's wellbeing.

Though divorce is emotionally and mentally taxing upon children and spouses alike, the majority -- between 70 percent and 75 percent - of kids with divorced parents don't experience any severe or lasting issues.

Study Determines How to Help

A recent study focuses on potential reasons why most kids aren't experiencing severe issues during and after a parental breakup. The Prevention Research Center at Arizona State University observed 240 mothers, each with a ten year old child, to examine the effects of a divorce intervention program.

The program consisted of classes for mothers on improving their relationship with their child and learning effective discipline skills. The study showed that kids with mothers who participated showed higher levels of self esteem and fewer difficulties with school and peers.

The study isolated the most important factors in parenting children during and after a divorce. An important element for a child was to have a warm, nurturing relationship with their mother, leading to better self esteem and fewer symptoms of depression. Also, children responded best to mothers with firm, consistent disciplinary styles. These kids had fewer problems at school, with drugs and alcohol and with delinquent behaviors.

Tips for Divorced Parents

There are ways you can help to ensure your child doesn't suffer from any of the issues associated with experiencing your divorce.

To help build the nurturing relationship with your child, find positive activities that you can do together. Being outside, playing games, eating together, even household chores can be meaningful time spent talking and bonding with children. If you have more than one child, make sure that you are spending enough one-on-one time with each of your children and that you are dividing this time equally.

To help improve disciplinary skills, make your expectations clear and define rules and consequences to your kids. Routines and consistency in discipline is important. Finally, be honest with your kids about the divorce, lying to them will not protect them from the truth and will hurt your relationship in the end.

Source: The Huffington Post, "Can parents prevent their children from having problems following divorce?" February 16, 2011.